11 Years / Sarah, Wife/widow
Time goes by so fast and yet so slow. I can't believe it has been just about 11 yrs. since I lost you. Every day you are on my mind and in my heart. Do you know that?? Could I have been a better wife or given you more love to help you want to stay? I pray for one more visit and a chance to just touch you or run my hands through your hair. This will never be over until I die, myself. I wait for you to help me cross over when the time comes. I will never love anyone else. Close
My condolences / Timothy Ellis (Acquaintance)Read >>
My condolences / Timothy Ellis (Acquaintance)
If Robert grew up in New Hartford, i knew him in high school. He was a good man in a bad situation. I am sorry he is gone. Close
Not another year... / Patricia (Sarah) Dufour (wife/widow)
I did not forget you & your BD yesterday dear Robert. I just didn't have the courage to come here. I see your face but cannot touch it. It has been almost 9 yrs. and I still haven't recovered. I lost my life the day you died and I cannot find it anymore. I don't believe in heaven so I guess I will never see you again. That breaks my heart so much. I know you were sick at the end but we had such good times mixed with the bad. You were like no one I've ever known. I pray for you everyday and I wish it were all untrue and you could just come home. There will never be anyone else in my heart. You would have been 54 yesterday and could have retired next year. All those dreams and plans are gone. I just walk from one day to the next without hope of a future. All but 4 of our furbabies are gone, too. I hope they are with you. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you like you needed and I hope that where ever you are you can forgive me. I carry so much guilt. What were you ever thinking of in those last minutes. Did you even think of me or were you so wrapped up in Hope? Did she mean that much to you or were you just overwhelmed with your illness? Did you not know that this would crush me. I would have done anything to change your mind. I called & called you but you wouldn't answer the phone that weekend. I am lost without you. I should hate you for what you did to me those last few months but I can't. I hope you are at peace.
I love you... Close
lost/ Marino Weber (his sadness )
First I must pay my respect to you and to robert. I came here as i am still deeply moved by the passing of edward, manny cullen, a memorial on VM sponsored by you.
I did some entries there too but the site seems abandoned which I can understand as I see how often it is visited
The passing of robert in a way was chosen at least that is what i think. What moved hem to do what he did I do not know, I only know that next tuesday I a man borne in 1962, am called to my doctor to speak about my feelings of "dark matter",as people usually afraid of speaking of issues about death and a wish for leaving...
It must have been terrible for you staying behind not able to follow or reversing time. And it still may be like that. I hope you will get some joy in life after what happened and wish you best.
For me I try to stay strong, though at times it may be devastating for me not to follow my heart,at least as long as this depression keeps hold on me.
forgive my English, I speak from my heart but i am native Dutch. Close
I'm always here... / Sarah Dufour (wife/widow)
It is hard for me to visit this site. Much harder now than it was when I created it but I still come even if I don't write anything. I say good morning to you every morning and goodnight before I close my eyes. During the day I say I miss you or ask you to help me untangle something because you were so good at it. I pray for you and if there is a heaven, you are the only one I want to see there besides my pets. You were a good man with a bad illness and I hope God forgives you for taking your life. You will forever be in my heart! Close
Not another year... / Sarah Dufour (wife)
OMG, Robert, I thought I'd be on my way to recovery by now but the grief is still monumental. All of my family still deserts me. Why aren't you here to grow old with me? We had such plans! I can feel your visits in my dreams and every day I expect you to walk back in the door telling me that you faked your death. How could you do this to me? I never stop crying. You had so much to offer and besides that I can't use Excel without your help! My budget is so tight it is insane. You wanted to know what I would do if you died...well, I hope you are looking down from where ever and seeing the pain you have left me with. Maybe Willie Nelson's song is appropriate..."maybe I didn't tell you quite as often as I should have..." I will never stop loving you. Close
Another year / Sarah (Patricia) Dufour (spouse/widow)
Well, Robert, I turned 60 last Oct. We had so many plans...a place with lots of land, some goats for me and bunnies for you. Maybe a cow & some chickens there, too. What happened to your dream? Who is going to hold my hand when I'm old and dying like you were going to do? I think about you every day and dream about you at night. I keep waiting for you to show up at the door to say this was all a mistake...a rough patch. Six years and I still cry. I will never say goodbye. Close
You'd be 51... / Sarah Dufour (widow)
I bought the cookies, lit the lights, turned on your favorite song,
But no matter what I try to do, everything seems wrong.
The 12th is your birthday and it just isn't the same kind of day without you here. Then you always made Christmas so much fun. You put 26 little stockings over the fireplace for our furbabies. I hope you're safe and warm where ever you are but I wish you were here instead. Close
You are still gone / Sarah Dufour (widow)
Five years have passed...another anniversary this month...and you are still not here with me. So much grief that my heart feels shattered. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and shed at least one tear. I don't want to grow old without you. We had so many plans. Why didn't you take me with you? There is no meaning to anything anymore. Everywhere I look you are there with memories to show me. Days are so long; nights are so dark. You promised never to abandon me. Now do you know what I'd do without you? You would have turned 51 this year and we could have had another black balloon party almost as good as the one you did for me. As I face turning 60 I have to do it without you. I wish you could see your boys. They have grown into handsome men that I'm sure you'd have been proud of. I understand Robert but I still miss you very much. Close
Life drags on.... / Sarah (wife/widow)
Robert I miss you so much...life has had no meaning since you died. It's been 4 yrs. and 5 mos. I would give anything for you to just walk back in the door. There will never be another person like you. I'm so sorry that you chose to leave. What could I have done to change your mind?? Sometimes I can almost feel your touch your hair hear your boots clomping. I dream I'm with you only to wake up disoriented and having to realize that you are no longer with me. Billy is gone and Char is gone. I hope they are with you. You would be proud of your kids. They've grown into nice looking young men. I only see pictures but they are good ones. I keep looking for help to get through this but I can't find any. So many times I wish you had taken me with you. I can't stand it here alone. I'm almost totally housebound now and only go to the store when I'm out of pet food. You took such good care of me in that way. I pray for you all the time. I love you so much and you never even realized it. Close
Four years gone by.... / Sarah, Loving Wife/widow
On 3/14/2010 it will have been 4 years since you left me so suddenly. I have scratched and clawed my way through them but I have been horribly unhappy. A new home new town all nice but no replacement for all the years we were going to spend together. Where's that farm we were going to have?? My heart and soul ache for you and I just wish I could bring you home!
Much love I send to you. Close
No other... / Sarah Dufour (wife(widow))
Oh Robert I miss you so much and you don't even know it. I'm just a shell waiting for my time to end. I wish I could have convinced you of my love. There will never be another soul like yours and I don't want any other man in my life. You wanted to hurt me in the end and you have done a much better job than you ever imagined you could. But I love you and wish I could bring you back.
SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR TRAGIC LOSS!! / CATHY~~MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD~~~ (SOMEONE WHO CARES )
MY HEARTFELT CONDOLENCES ON YOUR LOSS. SUICIDE IS THE WORST. WE ARE FILLED WITH QUESTIONS, WE HAVE NO ANSWERS. YOUR PRECIOUS ROBERT IS AT PEACE, BUT THOSE WHO LOVE AND MISS HIM SO, GRIEVING. I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN! KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. MAY GOD SURROUND YOU WITH HIS TENDER LOVE, AND BRING YOU STRENGTH, LOVE, AND PEACE IN THE COMING YEARS. WE ARE CONNECTED BY GRIEF, BUT ONE DAY WE WILL CELEBRATE TOGETHER WHEN WE ARE RE-UNITED WITH OUR BELOVED ONES AGAIN!! GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOUR WONDERFUL HEARTS.
Time...../ George .... (passing through )
May the passage of time, and the memories of good times, speed you through the rough time of dealing with the past. The Changing of the seasons now signifies a new beginning, a time for healing, and a time for growth. George Close
If I only Knew....... You were leaving today.... I would have hold you so tight.. I would have told you how much you mean to me...
If I only Knew...... I would when you left.... I would never hug you again. Today hug you so much. Tell you I love you....
If I only knew..... I was going to go down this road... I would have told you all stories in my pass.
If I only knew..... I could get one more day with you... I would take the time so listen too you closely. So I could hear your voice....
If I only knew..... The kiss I gave you today Was going to be my last one. I would have given you so many to take with you to heaven..
If I only knew.... That you made it to heaven ok... My heart would be filled with joy for you.
If I only knew.... Missing you was going to hurt so much.. I would prayer to God before to show me the way your journey was going.
I know you are in heaven Life will change Bring new things our way. You will be by our sides as our angel to watch over us.
I would like to thank you.. I do love you in this life and in the next one. Please hold that sit for me. Cause God will ask for us one day. I know sit will be there for us.
Patricia I dont know you. But you are hurting so much. I know this my self as I am hurting from Emily leaving this earth so early in life. Hold you candle close to you.. Remember the good times. He will be there. Trust me...
Sleep Well / Jackie-Passerby Patricia, I'm just a passerby. I wanted you know that God is a healer. He will be there to wipe away all your tears. My mothers best friend committed suicide after her husband died of Cancer in 1988. My mother was very torn and thought she could have helped her. No one knew her pain, but her. She left behind two daughters. I know if she could have stayed here on earth to face things she would have. I'm very sorry for your loss. I pray that you find strength from God. Your husband is free! I know where ever he is he is shining his light upon you. Close
passerby/ Araceli Santana (passerby)
Patricia may God grant the the peace during hard times. Keep in mind that the only family that will always be there is the spiritual family. your husband matter to many people but some know may not know how to show feeling. May Robert's light shine for ever in heaven and in the heart of the ones who love him. God bless both of you and remember one day you will meet again. Close