Memorial website in the memory of your loved one
This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Robert Dufour who was born in Winsted, CT on December 12, 1960 and took his life on March 14, 2006 at the age of 45. He was a proud employee of the Dept. of Justice/Bureau of Prisons. Robert loved to travel all over the US but especially to Texas and that is where his ashes have been scattered. We will remember him forever.

Robert is survived by, me, his wife whom he called "Sarah"; two sons, Mark and Luke; his siblings Kenny, Bill, Suzy and Char; his grandmother Charlotte and several uncles, nieces and nephews. What really bothers me is the fact that not one member of his own family has even visited this site after being notified of its existence several times or made contact with me in over a year. How sad that his family has forgotten him so quickly. Behind his times of rage, anger & vindictiveness, a by-product of being bipolar, was a heart of gold, vast knowledge of history, science fiction and comic books, a sense of humor, honor and responsibility. All of this hid a person broken by abuse, abandonment, injustice, loss and mental illness.

He was a Star Trek aficionado with many collections of books, cups, plates, etc. He also loved the fantasy art of Julie Bell & her husband, artwork of Frazetta, as well as collecting non game cards for the programs Angel, Buffy, 24, Millenium and many others. Born in CT, he was a Texan at heart and always dressed in western wear with matching boots. I will never forget all of our trips out for Fajitas with chips & salsa....who will share all these memories with me now...I am so lost without you!

On 09/11/2001, Robert was at work in Washington DC close to the Pentagon when it was hit. He ran from the city with thousands of others but in the process he thought to call me and tell me he was ok. He wasn't even sure how he was going to get home to WV because the Metro & the MARC were not running but he did not forget me! Let us never forget any of the victims of that day....









Feel free to listen to the music or add pictures of friends or family if you have them.  I have found that the music will play with the Rhapsody v3.1 music player, too. 

I have more to add so pay another visit when you have time!

Please visit the Faces of Suicide site to remember our loved ones:
http://www.facesofsuicide.com/


Wrap Your Arms Around Me, Jesus

Dedicated to my husband Robert, 12/12/60-03/14/06 &
my brother-in-law, John P Moses, 9/30/55-4/22/08 who both died by suicide.

Wrap your arms around me, Jesus,
Hold me close against your heart;
You were always there beside me,
I was just lost out in the dark.

Come in closer to my spirit,
and whisper words of love to me;
And I promise I will hear you,
I open up my heart to thee.

Wrap your arms around me, Jesus
Bring me out into your light,
Wrap your arms around me, Jesus
and everything will be all right.

(c) Leandra Wynterhawk Nightwolf
6/21/08 (Nom de plume)

Patricia Dufour

Copyright ©2008 PatriciaDufour



A Suicide Survivor's Beatitudes 
LaRita Archibald

BLESSED are those who recognize our grief is compounded; that we grieve
the death of a beloved person but foremost, we grieve the cause of the
death...suicide. 

BLESSED are those who give us permission to mourn the loss of one dearly
loved, free of judgment, censure and shame. 

BLESSED are spiritual guides who relieve our concerns for the repose of our
loved one's soul with the truth that God is All-Knowing, All-Loving and
All-Forgiving. 

BLESSED are those who don't offer the meaningless cliché, "Time Heals",
because, for a long while, the passing of time holds no meaning or value
for us. 

BLESSED are those who don't say, "I know just how you feel", but instead
say, "I am here for you. I will not tire of your tears or your words of
sorrow and regret." 

BLESSED are those who have the patience and love to listen to our
repetitive obsession with WHY? without offering useless answers or
explanations. 

BLESSED are those who reaffirm the worth of our deceased beloved by
sharing memories of his/her goodness and times of fun, laughter and
happiness. 

BLESSED are the mental health care providers who explain to us that, very
probably, our loved one died of a terminal illness called depression. 

BLESSED are those who challenge our sense of omnipotence with the
reminder that no one has enough power or control over another to cause
them to end their life. 

BLESSED are the first responders to our loved one's suicide who try to
relieve our sense of guilt and responsibility by assuring us "This death is not your fault". 

BLESSED are those who lend acceptance to the value of the relationship
we shared with the one who died by allowing us to speak of them and
'what might have been'.
 
BLESSED are those that allow and encourage us to use our loved one's
death in a manner that gives our loss and grief meaning and purpose. 

BLESSED are those who do not expect us to find "closure", "grief
resolution", "recovery" or to "be healed", understanding that these terms
define 'grief work in progress' that will take the rest of our life. 

BLESSED are community caregivers who direct us to suicide bereavement
support groups where our anguish is understood, our loss validated and where we are encouraged by the example of others who have traveled
this road before us. 

BLESSED are long-term survivors after suicide who role-model not only can
we survive, but, in time, we can thrive…we can regain peace of mind,
restored confidence, renewed productivity and a revived zest for living.

©LRA/2000 (all credit given to author) 



Click here to see Robert Dufour's
Family Tree
Tributes and Condolences
Not another year...   / Patricia (Sarah) Dufour (wife/widow)
I did not forget you & your BD yesterday dear Robert. I just didn't have the courage to come here. I see your face but cannot touch it. It has been almost 9 yrs. and I still haven't recovered. I lost my life the day you died and I cannot find it anym...  Continue >>
lost  / Marino Weber (his sadness )
First I must pay my respect to you and to robert. I came here as i am still deeply moved by the passing of edward, manny cullen, a memorial on VM sponsored by you. I did some entries there too but the site seems abandoned which I can understand as I...  Continue >>
I'm always here...   / Sarah Dufour (wife/widow)
It is hard for me to visit this site. Much harder now than it was when I created it but I still come even if I don't write anything. I say good morning to you every morning and goodnight before I close my eyes. During the day I say I miss you or ask ...  Continue >>
Not another year...   / Sarah Dufour (wife)
OMG, Robert, I thought I'd be on my way to recovery by now but the grief is still monumental. All of my family still deserts me. Why aren't you here to grow old with me? We had such plans! I can feel your visits in my dreams and every day I expect yo...  Continue >>
Another year   / Sarah (Patricia) Dufour (spouse/widow)
Well, Robert, I turned 60 last Oct. We had so many plans...a place with lots of land, some goats for me and bunnies for you. Maybe a cow & some chickens there, too. What happened to your dream? Who is going to hold my hand when I'm old and dying like...  Continue >>
You'd be 51...  / Sarah Dufour (widow)    Read >>
You are still gone  / Sarah Dufour (widow)    Read >>
Life drags on....  / Sarah (wife/widow)    Read >>
Four years gone by....  / Sarah, Loving Wife/widow     Read >>
No other...  / Sarah Dufour (wife(widow))    Read >>
SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR TRAGIC LOSS!!  / CATHY~~MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD~~~ (SOMEONE WHO CARES )    Read >>
Across all time, across all space  / Patricia Dufour (widow)    Read >>
Father's Day  / Rosemary Sis Of Alvin Cremeans     Read >>
A Memorial Day Tribute  / Rosemary Sis Of Alvin Cremeans     Read >>
Time..... / George .... (passing through )    Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences
His legacy
Mark and Luke  
Robert left, as his greatest legacy, his two sons Mark and Luke who live in PA with their mother.
Poetry by Robert before he died....  
Friday, March 10, 2006 (c) Robert J. Dufour 2006-2007

My Waiting Children.....

My Waiting Children.....

So long gone from my life, but never absent from my heart...


Merry Meet, Merry Part...
On The Other Side We Shall Meet Again.....
At The Rainbow Bridge My Children Wait.....

Tinkerbell, You were my first, Gone too young, A special place in my heart you hold...


Hobo, Over the fence for a little I said, Stayed to the end you did, Sorry I was not there when you passed....

Clover, You were one of Daddy's Little Girl's five, The time you were here was counted in minutes, But forgotten you never were.....


Ghost, When you came to me you were not whole, but Best Buds we were to become, Where I went, So did you, Till the End.....


Weenie, In the beginning You were not mine, But to me you came, Till I held you when you left this world.....


Merry Meet Again......On The Other Side, At The Rainbow Bridge, Never To Be Apart Again....

Thursday, March 09, 2006

My Poems (c) 2000-2007 Robert J. Dufour

Dreams

Yesterday Is Gone,
What Once Was Is Past;
Turn Your Thought Away,
From The Then And There,
Dreams That Were Dreamed,
Dreams That Have Past.
Today Is Here,
Where We Are Now;
The Here And Now,
Is Where We Live,
Where We Dream,
Of What Will Be.
Tomorrow Is Yet To Be,
What Will Come
When Dreams Are Realized,
A Time Of Hope,
A Time To Live,
A Time To Share;
A Time For Us,
To Live As One.


Handle with Care 

You Hold My Heart In Your Hands,
The Way You Laugh At Something I Say
Opens My Heart.
The Way You Smile At Me,
Lights Up My Heart.
The Way You Glance At Me,
Warms My Heart.
The Way You Lean Against Me,
Comforts My Heart.
The Way You Stand-by My Side,
Fills My Heart With Pride.
Your Love Is The Key
That Has Truly Opened My Heart.
You Hold My Heart In Your Hands
So Please Handle With Care
As I Will Handle Your Heart, Too.


Life Is A Journey 

Life Is A Journey, From Beginning To End
Like A River It Flows
Life Is A Journey, From Birth To Death
A Travels Down A Walkway
Life Is A Journey, From The Alpha To The Omega
Touching The Paths Of Many Others
Life Is A Journey, From One To Infinity
Our Paths Have Touched
Life Is A Journey, From Start To Finish
Our Paths Have Crossed
Life Is A Journey, From First To Last
Now Our Paths Have Merged
Life Is A Journey, From Two To One
Becoming One And The Same
Life Is A Journey, From You & Me To US
Will You Complete This Journey By My Side?


Here I Am 

You are not alone
Here I am, for you, with you

Whenever you need someone to listen,
Here I am, you have my ears

Whenever you need reassuring words,
Here I am, you have my voice

Whenever you need to be comforted,
Here I am, you have my arms

Whenever you need a tender kiss,
Here I am, you have my lips

Whenever you need to be reassured about my love for you,
Here I am, you have my eyes

Whenever you need someone,
Here I am, you have me

Remember, you are not alone,
Here I am, a part of you as you are a part of me

We are one and the same
For now and all times

Here we are

 
Our Handfasting 

Joined together as one,
Our hands were bound.

Within the stone circle
before all of Nature
and the Goddess of the Earth,

Hand on hand
On the Challenge Stone
We sealed together
Our lives
Our love
Our souls

From that day forward, for all our lives
Till time is no more...


You = Me 

Your Body To My Body; Like Two Halves Of A Whole
Your Mind To My Mind; Thinking As One
Your Spirit To My Spirit; Moving Together Like A Breeze Over Water
Your Heart To My Heart; Beating To The Same Rhythm

Your Love To My Love; The Greatest Of Loves,
Brought Us Together; Keeps Us Together

You Are Me, I Am You;
We Are United, One And The Same

As The Water Falls, Bringing Life To The Ground
The Sun Warms The Winds, Returning The Moisture From Hence It Came

Joined As One, Our Lives Intertwined
As The Cycle Of Life Goes; So Are We, Bringing Life To Each Other

We'll Walk This Walk, Side-By-Side, Hand-In-Hand
From Now Till Time Is No More


You're There 

You're not in my sight,
I may be looking elsewhere;
You're not in my view,
The lights may be out;
But I know you're there,
We're hand in hand
Fingers interlocked.

You're nowhere to be seen,
We're not together;
But I know you're there,

Your presence in my heart,
Calming my soul,
Making me whole!




 
Robert's Photo Album
Robert in 1/2006
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